Friday, August 22, 2008

To Date, Or Just Wait?

"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages 20 years" - Author Unknown

Well anonymous,

Teenagers can be a handful. They're crawling one minute and dating the next. This seems to be the case for you.

It seems to me that you daughter's behavior is right on time. Yes, she is coming on a bit strong, but she is letting you know she is ready for the next stage in her life. Ready or not, Mom, she is going to push through that cocoon.

So what you need to do is be prepared, have a plan to ease her into the next phase smoothly and armed with essential information to make good choices. Here is what you do:
  1. Talk to her about what she wants and why?
  2. Discuss your concerns and why they worry you.
  3. Find out if she is interested in a specific boy or just boys in general. If she is interested in a specific boy, discuss his personalities and set up a time to meet him.
  4. If she does not want you to meet him, formally. Be open to simply observing him and meeting him in an informal manner, i.e. at the basketball game, back to school night. You, probably will find out more about him in his own element, than at your house.
  5. Allow her to go on a group date. Give her a specific curfew and some ground rules.
  6. Take a deep breathe and relax. This time in a teenager's life does not have to be horrific. Many teens survive, responsibly. I have a feeling yours daughter will be just fine.
Love Always,
Big Mama

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